I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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