Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Two words: nipple clamps
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