you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
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