So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
