You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
