you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
