she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We have started to decorate penises.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
