Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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