Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
do herpes really smell.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
