your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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