If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
