You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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