Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
