I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
