By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
