i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
