So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
