I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
