Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
