he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
