theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
