his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
