You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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