I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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