You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I will pee on everything he values.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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