I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
