it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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