You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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