i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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