Kiss
Puke
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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