I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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