Sry I called you an 8
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
