it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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