K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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