and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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