You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
