i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
PANTIES FOUND
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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