I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
