Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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