is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
