Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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