I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I have feelings that need drinking.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
