can u get pink eye on your cock?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
