I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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