I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
