are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
