I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
