At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
