Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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