Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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